I having one of those moments, and it has been going on for about 6 months now. This year has been looming on the horizon for 20 years and the weight of it is like a 500 pound albatross around my neck. I feel like I can't breathe, I can't think, I am so numb, yet so emotionally raw at the same instant.
I would really love to just pack up and leave in the middle of the night. No forwarding address, change my name, ditch the social, and fall off the grid. Anything to forget who I am and more importantly leave the past behind. Instead, I carry it with me in my heart. No, in my soul is more accurate.
I am in pain. I am suffering. And it feels that nothing, nothing will ever make it right again. I know in mind that it will be ok. That Labor day will pass and the leaves will change, with it will come a rebirth of my spirit. But for now, I am treading water trying not to drown.
