Resolutions

I am not doing favorites this week, but am instead doing my resolutions for the coming year...in all their bloody gore for the world to see and consequently make fun of when I fail miserably two months from now! Ah, but that is the fun of making resolutions....to see how quickly I fail. Perhaps I should resolve to not make resolutions, kind of like when for Lent I give up giving things up.

1. Eat less - exercise more = stay the same weight. OK, seriously. I got this cool new stepper for Christmas, which I am going to try to use each day and at the very least increase my stamina and fitness level.
2. Drink more wine.
3. Read more - I did not come anywhere close to finishing my list and it just continued to grow
4. Learn to say "What the hell" and "For the love of God" in 10 different languages because English is just not enough
5. Laugh often and Love more

Urgent! Emergency! Urgent, Urgent, Urgent! Emergency!

I need help, serious help. I am updating my daughters iPod (something I meant to have done before Christmas, but didn't). Anyway, it is a used iPod that I got from a friend, I removed all her music so there is plenty of free space (it is a Nano that can hold 1,000 songs basically). I have 799 pieces of music that I want to take from my existing library for my ipod and put on this new one. I checked only the songs I want on there, hook hers up, and everytime I get this message "The iPod "name here" cannot be synced. The required disk cannot be found."

WTF?? Help!

Best, Worst, In My Dreams

This week I had the PSS question and I think it was something along the lines of best Christmas present, worst Christmas present, and something you wanted but never received.

Best - One of my favorites, as I have a few that were great so not one best, was a suede coat my dad bought me on Christmas Eve. My dad has this bad habit of putting shopping off to the last minute. However, he has a great habit of "throwing money at it", so he will spend what he has on something to avoid aggravation. I was working in the salon on Christmas Eve when he came to see me and said "you have 30 minutes to come to Nordstrom and pick out a Christmas present or you won't be getting one". So off we went, he knew I needed a coat so this was his way of having me pick out my own. I found an incredible black suede coat with a hood, fur lined, for $350, which is what I chose. I still have it today and love it, but that was the last time he did that. = )

Worst - Fruitcake.

Wanted - Remote control car. As a kid I always wanted one of these, but I don't think my parents thought I was serious so I never did get one.

The Meaning of Christmas

Christmas....ah, thank God that is over. This year was soo aggravating with the presents and the running around and the way too much on my plate. I felt like I needed about 10 more hours per day and about 3 more weeks to have things finished. As it was, in the end. I just let go and let God...which meant it turned out exactly as I needed it to. Without my knowing that at the time.

To start off, I was told I would be losing my job right around Halloween. Not a happy thought considering that I loved my job and it was perfect for me. So the prospect of finding a new one, on top of everything else that was needed to prepare for the holidays was overwhelming. So I spent a few weeks interviewing, working on my resume, scouring job postings, etc. In addition, I am getting my master's degree so have those classes, still have a job through the end of the year, bell choir and the monthly publication for my church, a husband and 2 children with needs. It was, therefore, with no remorse when I looked at the calendar for the holiday's and said "Holy shit...let's skip the damn thing!"

Usually I have presents bought well before Thanksgiving, this year we were still shopping on the 20th. Normally my Christmas cards and letter would be out the second week of December at the latest. This year they were sent out on the 22nd (some still need to go). Typically I have time to watch every movie in our collection with my daughter....3/15 on that one. We almost always go to look at the lights in the park downtown. This year we passed them briefly on our way to her performance and never made it back. I am so unbelievably disappointed with myself for my failings.

But then I remember. Christmas is not about all the stuff we got, or didn't get. It is not about the things that we did or did not get to do because they are tradition. And it is most definitely not about having the perfect Christmas...as no such thing exists.

Christmas, to me, means remembering that I am saved because of a baby born in a manger who gave his life so that I may live forever. It is about love, the ultimate love and sacrifice of one person for others.

Compared to that gift, everything else pales in comparison.

If You Know What I Mean

So last night I went with my mom, her husband, and my best bud Eggie Baby to see Neil Diamond in concert. It was fucking awesome! He is amazing in person, just an unbelievable showman, plays real well to the crowd, and still sounds great after all these years. Now, you can laugh about Neil Diamond if you want to...I think that there are two kinds of people - those that love him and those that don't. For me, I grew up on Neil Diamond music. Both my parents loved his music and it was played in our house all the time. The happiest moments of my childhood have "Beautiful Noise", "The Grass Won't Pay No Mind", or "If You Know What I Mean" and so on as the background music.

I also believe that he is one of the most prolific and successful songwriters of all time, particularly if you consider songs he wrote that other people have made famous - Red Red Wine by UB40, I'm a Believer by both the Monkees and Smashmouth, and more. What was so amazing about the concert last night is the age range of people there. You had people who were in there 80's standing next to kids in their 20's. There were groups of kids dressed up in sparkly outfits or shirts, as a tribute of sorts to when he used to do that all the time. (One guy even was a dead ringer for Wirick...he was wearing a red Lame' shirt with sequins all over it...so hysterical. I wish I had gotten a picture!)

Anyway, I had a blast. He opened the concert with my all time favorite, Holly Holy. He then did Beautiful Noise, and a few more old songs. Then he did a set off his new album, then he did his get the crowd going and dancing part where he has the Sweet Caroline number...bahm, bahm, bahm...so good, so good, so good! It is amazing to see a sold out Energy Solutions Arena all standing up and singing to that song together...incredible. Then he did a set off his 12 Songs album, then his personal set "Brooklyn Roads","I am, I Said", closing with "Hell Yeah". For the encore he did "Crackling Rosie", "America" (today!), and finally another favorite of mine as the last song "Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show". The concert was about 2 and half hours and worth every minute. This has been the 5th time I have seen him and hopefully is not the last.

For those of you who think he is just some hack or wimpie pop star, here is my evidence to the contrary:

Rock and Roll Neil


































He is a great lyricist as well, here a few of my favorite lines:

Young bird flying
And a soft wind blowing
Cools the sweat inside my palms
Close my eyes and see the flowers growing
As you lay sleeping in my arms
And the time will be our time
And the grass won't pay no mind


It's a beautiful noise
Made of joy an of strife
Like a symphony played
By a passing parade
It's the music of life


Look at the way I glide
Caught on the wind's lazy tide
Sweetly how it sings
Rally each heart at the sight
Of your silver wings

And each one there
Has one thing shared:
They have sweated beneath the same sun,
Looked up in wonder atthe same moon,
And wept when it was all done
For bein' done too soon

Dry your eyes and take your song out, its a newborn afternoon.
And if you cant recall the singer you can still recall the tune.
Dry your eyes and play it slowly like youre marching off to war;
Sing it like you know he'd want it, like we sang it once before.
And from the center of the circle to the midst of the waiting crowd,
If it ever be forgotten sing it long and sing it loud and come dry your eyes

When the night returns just like a friend
When the evening comes to set me free
When the quiet hours that wait beyond the day make
Peaceful sounds in me
Took a drag from my last cigarette
Took a drink from a glass of old wine
Closed my eyes and I could make it real and
Feel it one more time
Can your hear it babe? Can your hear it babe?
From another time. From another place.Do you remember it babe?
And the radio played like a carnival tune
As we lay in our bed in the other room
When we gave it away for the sake of a dream
In a penny arcade
If you know what I mean

Baby It's Cold Outside

This week Kim D asked us what our favorite thing about snow is, favorite memory, etc.

I like snow, I just do not like being cold. I do love to watch it falling and see the trees and the earth the morning after, when the sky is so blue. I don't mind shoveling it, and would rather do that than mow the lawn. I think it is fun to play in with my husband and daughter, there is nothing like building a snowman with a little kid and a big kid! Last year we did a snow fort with several entrances, that was a ton of fun.

Christmas Movies

This weeks Christmas theme is Christmas movies ~

1. It's a Wonderful Life
2. Srooged - Totally hysterical, very quotable - besides the great message.
3. A Christmas Story - I just love this movie, I laugh and laugh at all the funny bits and the whole feeling of it is classic.
4. A Muppets Christmas Carol - Life would be empty without the Muppets...nuff said.
5. Sound of Music

Honorable mentions to Charlie Brown Christmas, the orignial Grinch, and the original Rudolph.

Gigglefest and Sing a Longs

This is from Thanksgiving when Missy G had the baby laughing out loud. It was the first time that family was over to see it, so it was pretty special. I apologize for the screaming girl sounds and also to you sheep lovers.

This is from the performance at the Christmas Village here in town a few weeks ago. My favorite part about this whole video is the end where she realizes that other people are singing the wrong words and is looking around for the guilty culprit. Coming from my perfectionist daughter, I am not surprised one bit. Her dad, even though he is a perfectionist himself but not about things like that, would have deliberately changed the words just for the fun of it.

Here is a an example, The Steve Miller Band "Jet Airliner". The chorus goes "Oh, Oh big ol' jet airliner/Don't carry me too far away/Oh, Oh big ol' jet airliner/Cause it's here that I've got to stay". And D's version? Change the first line to "Oh, big ol' hairy vagina". Now, you tell me if you will ever view that song the same after that? Another prime example, Huey Lewis and the News "Happy to Be Stuck with You", D's version "happy to be fucking you". It may not be charming or fit for public consumption, but in the car between us...I am in tears from laughing so hard. He keeps my life interesting, no doubt about that.

Live from New York...Weekend Update

OK, so I am not really in New York (thank you Jesus!) I am really here in my hometown, chilling like a villain and kicking it old school.

This weekend so far has been pretty eventful. On Friday I went to Salt Lake for a job interview with a trucking company as a grand pooba know it all admin/director/catch all person. It seems like an awesome position and the pay is fantastic. However, I would have to drive 45mins everyday and it is a pretty patriarchal business from all appearances. We all know how well that would gel with me. The first interview was pretty preliminary stuff with the corporate BS thrown in there. She commented that she would pass me on to the next level..so we will see.

Before the interview I got a call from a local company that I had interviewed with the week before about a position there. It seems like a very cool job also, lots of analysis for them, setting up their HR, pulling together orientations and presentations, managing some accounting functions, etc. He said the President/Owner was in town and wanted to meet with me, so could I come in. I told him sure and we set up a time for 3 pm. I had planned after my interview in Salt Lake, that I would go hang out with one of my oldest and dearest friends, Dr. J. Well, fifteen minutes after the interview, I was on my way. Like I said, it was very preliminary. The thought went through my mind "I drove all the way down here for this?"

When I got to Dr. J's house I was met by the dogs (two big, adorable, and sweet, but big labs), Dr. J and her new son "cracker". Her baby, besides my babies, is the light of my life. There is just something so special about your friends who you have known for 20+ years kids. She is as close as a sister to me as can be, so this whole experience is just amazing. Besides, it was very difficult for him to get here...a long and tough process for them, so he is a blessing beyond blessing. I was, therefore, perfectly content to hold him, smell him, and love on him for a few hours.

After I left Salt Lake I drove straight to this other company for the meeting with the owner and the GM, who I had interviewed with previously. Let me just say this as I do not like to blog about work/business related happenings. That was by far the strangest, but most refreshing business exchange I have ever been involved with. I was there for almost 2 hours, I talked with most of the people who are executives as they kept coming in and out of the office to talk to the owner. The owner is from Switzerland so his way of operating and handling issues is much different than the American way. Personally, I love it! Long story short, my face hurt from laughing and smiling so much and I was offered the job. Which I accepted and I start next week.

I was so thrilled as the job market is super-shitty right now and it was only my second interview. I am so excited about the opportunity with this company, so we will see if, in time, it is all I hope for. Besides, someone that I know applied for and interviewed for the job, but obviously did not get it. Considering how difficult this person made my life sometimes, I feel it was Karma. Man, she can be a bitch sometimes huh?

I had planned to go with my friend Eggiebaby to dinner and movie for her birthday, so I called her to make sure we were still on and apologize for being late. In her usual cool way, she did not give a shit. We decided on Olive Garden for dinner and then the movie Australia. I am always amazed at the patience of people to wait to eat at Olive Garden. Seriously, I think I have only eaten in the main area 2 or 3 times. That is usually because I am only with one other person and we eat at the bar. This night was no different. We had to ask some people to move down for two seats together, which the graciously did. However, and I kid you not here, all the other people who were sitting at the bar waiting for a table, as we were the only ones who had dinner there, were still waiting when we left. And they had all been there when we arrived! I cannot believe it, seriously. I have only been to a few places in my life where the food was that good...and Olive Garden is not it. Afterwards, we went to see Australia, which was outstanding. I am sure there are some people who thought it was too long or whatever. Granted, it felt like 3 hours, but it was sweeping, funny, and overall entertaining. It was not my favorite movie of all time and I would not own it, but I enjoyed it quite a bit.

On Saturday morning we went to the preschool where my oldest went for a fundraiser breakfast with Santa. The cool part is that the Santa pictures were cheap, $3, and they are not copyrighted so I can duplicate at will. The bad part was waiting 30 minutes for barely cooked pancakes. Oh well, it was for a good cause. I also ran into Lisa (aka the Cool Chick) there, so that was awesome too. The rest of the day was pretty much spent napping, reading, or watching TV with the kids. The highlight of my day was a candy cane shake that D brought me from the local burger joint....awesome! The other hightlight was my husbands cousin Brian, who had moved to Idaho years ago, stopping by with his kids and hanging out chatting for a while. It really puts your own age in perspective when you are around people who you knew at 6 or 2 years old and they are talking about getting married, drinking, going to college, etc.

Tomorrow, my oldest is singing in church, D is working in the garage, Survivor ends...go Bob, I have a paper to write, and I am going to attempt Shrimp Fettuccine with a Gorgonzola cream sauce for dinner. If it does not kill us, it will make us stronger!

Year Tag

Lisa tagged me, and I know I did this not too long ago, so I will try to come up with different things.

20 years ago:
1. I was 16 years old
2. Junior at Roy High
3. Dating Andy

10 years ago:
1. I was working at AOL
2. A newlywed
3. My grandfather died on Christmas Eve

5 years ago:
1. My oldest was 3
2. Still at AOL
3. Wondering if I was ever going to finish school

3 years ago:
1. Pregnant with my son
2. D went back to school
3. December 9, 2005 - Dylan at Primary's Hospital - SMA diagnosis on December 12

1 year ago:
1. Pregnant with my baby
2. Great job with my current company
3. Grandmother Fern died

So far this year:
1. I received my bachelors...woohoo!
2. Had a baby girl who is very healthy and happy...woohoo!
3. Lost my job...shit!

Yesterday:
1. Went to work
2. Wrapped Christmas presents
3. Watched a movie with my sweetie

Today:
1. Christmas concert at my daughters school
2. Have to write a paper for school (yes, I went back for my Masters)
3. Bought the wrong damn size boots!

Tomorrow:
1. Lunch with my mom
2. Play bells at church
3. Hopefully find out if I have a new job (waiting on job offer)

Next year:
1. Secure employment
2. Hopefully lost weight and in better shape (not round, more oval)
3. Win the lottery!

Christmas PopRocks

This week the five favorites are the non-traditional or secular Christmas songs. And for your viewing pleasure I even added a video!

1. Last Christmas - It had better be by Wham!...anything else is awful drivel.
2. Do They Know it's Christmas - by BandAid 1984. It is not Christmas for me till I hear this on the radio.




3. Good King Wenceslas
4. Baby it's Cold Outside - again I like the original version best.
5. Blue Christmas by Elvis tied with Hard Candy Christmas by Dolly Parton

Ignore My Behind

So, as usual, I am behind on my updates or the pictures of the girls. So here are a few from October through last week.










Freak snowstorm in early October that pushed the trampoline into the fence, busted the frame and took out our maple tree. Awesome!










Sissy and her kitten










"If I only had a brain".

Cinderella and the magic pumpkin










Forever plaid for Reformation Sunday










You have not lived until a cat has watched you bathe










Doing her Magnum P.I. impression










Totally her sister's idea













Christmas carols at the Christmas Village







The great paper chase....she literally rolled and ripped apart the paper from one side of the room to the other. No, I did not let her eat it...well, not very much anyway.

Traditionally Speaking

What are your family's traditions? To add.. as a child and/or as an adult and not just at Christmas.

I love family traditions, I feel that it brings a sense of continuity and history to my family. I do not really have many traditions that are not involved with Christmas, so I will focus just on the Christmas season. It starts with Christmas shopping. Every November, before Thanksgiving, I take a day off work and my mom and I go shopping in Salt Lake. We do not go anywhere in particular, just to the shops that strike our fancy at the time. Typically we end up at Spoons & Spice buying tea, sometimes we hit the London Market for Wine Gums and Malteasers. We almost always do Trolley Square. Regardless, we have a great time, a nice lunch together, and usually manage to get most of our shopping done. After Thanksgiving my mom, my oldest, and I go see the Nutcracker by Ballet West at Weber State. I never tire of this ballet and for my daughter it is a new experience every time as she always finds out new things that she did not realize about the story or performance. I am very excited to have two girls going next year!

I have started a tradition of having my daughter help me with the Christmas decorations, putting up the tree, the advent calendars, etc. This year we strung lights from floor to ceiling in our bay window and put up a small tree since we have the baby rolling around and the kitten. Typically a week before Christmas my daughter and my mom make sugar cookies together, which we put out for Santa. Around this time D and I try to find a day to do Christmas shopping together. I love it when we do this, as we hardly ever shop together. Sometime during this time frame we go look at the lights at Christmas Village. On Christmas Eve I we go to church in the evening, now that we have kids it is the early service where the minister reads a Christian themed Christmas story for the kids instead of doing a sermon. We always close the services with the lights off and lit candles singing Silent Night to just the guitar. It brings me to tears every year. After we get home from church, we open one present (pajamas), we put out cookies, milk, and carrots for Santa and the reindeer. I read "The Night Before Christmas" and "The Three Trees" to my daughter. After she is in bed D and I light a fire, make some popcorn, cuddle up and watch "It's a Wonderful Life"...no matter how late we have to stay up!

In the morning, we take turns opening presents, then have breakfast of a German pancake, bacon or sausage, and oranges. For dinner we typically go to my moms, then on to D's family side later since they are all night owls.

Wee Bit O' Funny

Don't ask me why, but lately I am in an all things Irish mood. I know, you are saying "know how is that different than any other time lassie"? Well 'tis, I think I must be homesick...'cept it's not me home. But I wish it was. So, I am going for a pint and then going to enjoy this hysterical videos from my favorite Irish band Gaelic Storm. (The were in the movie Titanic by the way, as the group at that dancing scene...only good thing about that wreck of a movie if you ask me)

A Caroling We Go

For the month of December I am going to do all Christmas themed favorites for my five favorite lists.

To start things off right I am going to list my all time favorite religious Christmas hymns.

1. Silent Night
2. O Come, O Come Emmanuel
3. Away in a Manger
4. O Holy Night
5. What Child is This/We Three Kings

Holly Jolly Christmas

This week Shane asked "Tell us about your most-memorable childhood Christmas."

My most memorable Christmas as a child took place when I was about 7 or 8 I think. I was still playing with Barbies at the time (this amazes me to this day, granted I usually cut all their hair off and had their car crash or something like that) and my dad built me a doll house. The floor and walls were covered with different kinds of wall paper, it was painted white with a red roof, had a carport for my little corvette, and their was a deck on it. My mom made little pillows and quilts to go on my furniture, along with some of my doll clothes. It was awesome! I was so excited when I woke up Christmas morning and saw that, I bet I played with it everyday for the next few years.

The other childhood memory is just really a collection of how great Christmas was at our house. The festivities really started on Christmas Eve when we would go to church every year. We always got to open one present on Christmas Eve also, which was either the dress for church or pajamas usually. My brother and I would spend the night in his room in our sleeping bags, than in the morning it was a mad dash to get the stockings...of course sometimes the stockings were on the end of our sleeping bag...which was really cool. I know realize this was done to force us to stay in the room longer, but it does negate how great it was. We always had an orange in the toe of our stocking, some mixed nuts in the shell still (??), the lifesaver book, and then 1 or 2 very cool toys or games. Almost always these were similar to avoid fights. Then there was the one special unique thing that was always in there too. After we were worn out with that and whatever present was under the tree not wrapped, we would wake our parents up. My parents had this tradition of taking turns when opening presents, so the whole event lasted longer and we could fully appreciate what everyone received. Next came breakfast of my moms famous coffee cake or waffles.

2 other Christmas's stick out in my mind. One when I was about 15 my brother received a box of money that was all crinkled up so when he opened the box it sprang out. The other was 2 years later, the last Christmas I spent with my brother. On Christmas Eve we went to see Imagine by John Lennon in the afternoon, then went shopping in Nordstroms where he bought me a shirt with a self-portrait of John Lennon on it. (I still have that shirt even though it is way too small for me now, I will never get rid of it) Then we went to chuch together, just the two of us to a different church where our previous Associate Pastor was now the Pastor. Back home we shared some eggnog with rum and talked in my room for hours. The last thing he did that night was play John Lennon's "Woman" for me and told me that this song always made him think of me and the person I was becoming. In the morning we had our usual deal, but the present he gave me was a framed sketch of the Beatles. It was one of the coolest gifts I have ever received. I just remember being so amazed at the man he had become at 19. He was thoughtful, he was generous, he was funny, and he was so thankful for all the people and gifts in his life. It was eye-opening for me and still gives me pause when I think of it. That was by far one of the best Christmas's I ever had.

Limmerick

There was a man named Shane,
Who sometimes could be a pain,
He fell behind on his posts,
But what bothered me the most,
Were the cobwebs growing in his brain.

Thankful

The 5 favorites this week is more of a 5 things I am thankful for list. We have a tradition at my house that on Thanksgiving we have to go around the table and all say what we are thankful for. It has always been interesting to me what people say, particularly my girls as they get older. This is my 5 for this year (and everyday of every year really) ~

1. A roof over my head
2. Our health, praticularly that of my children
3. My freedom, that I live in a country that allows me to go to school, work, and worship how I choose
4. Food on our table and clean water
5. Money in the bank, no worries about house or car payments.

Three Things

This week our question is "What three things do you consider yourself to be very good at... and what three things you consider yourself to be very bad at?"

I could have a lot of fun with this question, but I don't want to brag about my abilities! (J/K...sheesh, lighten up people) I am going to go with my gut instinct on this one rather than put a lot of thought into it. I think it is more fun that way.

Good At~
1. Getting things done/Doing what I say I will. No matter what, no matter the deadline and the more pressure the better...I will get it done. It may not always be to the satisfaction of other people, but hey, the shit is done.
2. Being a wife and mother - I could always be better, no doubt. Particularly as a mom, but I think that overall I am very good at this. I am tolerant (mostly), I am nurturing and take care of my family, put them first, support their efforts, etc.
3. Sass - I can sass with the best of them. If there was a professional sasser as a career, I would make a million dollars easy!

Bad At~
1. Taking time for me. I am sure there are some who think I take too much time for me, but in my Libra scale evaluation, I am shortchanging myself.
2. Writing thank you notes or letters. I was taught to write thank you notes growing up and for most major things, like our wedding or baby gifts, the thank you note is out within a month. But for things like birthday presents, Christmas, etc. I am horrible. I am sure that it disappoints my mom, who is always on top of this, very much.
3. Being patient/controlling my temper. I get irritated by small stuff way too much. I am never as patient with the kids or my husband as I should be.

O'Leary, O'Reilly, O'Hare, and O'Harra

OK, so this is why I really voted for Barack Obama...got to support our own don't ya know.

For Whom the Bell Tolls

I joined the bell choir at my church and am still not sure why. My minister asked me back in the summer if I would do it and for some unknown reason I said yes. I used to play the violin when I was in the 5th grade, so at some point in my life I had to have been able to read music. Unfortunately, I have lost that skill completely. I made my mom go through the music book and write the notes I have to play underneath the notes so I know when it is my turn and which hand I should be ringing!

My minister keeps saying that I will learn to read in time, I have my doubts. For one thing, the songs go by way too fast that if I try to do that I end up about 3 measures behind. I finally told him last week that he can either have me sight reading and playing or he can have me reading the letters for the notes and it actually sounding good. For now he is picking the letters on my sheet music.

Tomorrow is our first performance in church and I am pretty nervous. One song I play in quite a bit, but the pace of it always throws me off. It says "reverently" on the top of the sheet, somehow in my brain that translates to slow and I end up getting lost. I just hope that I do not screw up big time tomorrow. We are also supposed to start learning Christmas songs so we can play those several places throughout the holiday season. For now I am having fun learning it, but I will be surprised if I get asked back next year! That is the bad thing about a volunteer bell choir...you never know the lack of talent you will get.

Change of Heart

I am a cat person, always have been. I am scared of most dogs and very irritated when I am around dogs that are not controlled by their owners. Having a dog's face in my crotch, being licked, or jumped on is totally unacceptable to me. Most people I think do control them, but like me with my cats, or anyone with their kids, you always think your's are better behaved than they really are. Certain breeds I do like however and am very comfortable around - Great Danes, Labs, and Retrievers. Others I cannot stand - Poodles, Doberman's, Pitbulls, Rottweillers, and a few small dog breeds. I have either been chased, bit, barked at too much, or in other ways terrified by those breeds. I get that dogs sense the fear, kind of like cats always going to the person who is most allergic.

So why am I on a rant about dogs? Well mainly it is because I have been watching "It's Me or the Dog" on Animal Planet because I find the show fascinating and her techniques are always spot on. I also was watching Dogs101 on the same channel and have found the perfect dog that I totally want when I get to the stage in my life that I can have a dog again. (D is allergic to most breeds - something about the salivia. I keep telling him not to lick them, but he won't listen).

Believe it or not we did have dogs when I grew up and I always loved them. We had a Basenji, which is a very cool dog that I still love, but you had better be prepared for high maintenance and never leave it alone. We also had a Cocker Spaniel named Luke that was the coolest dog. I would get a Basenji if it were just me, and I totally wanted to go insane. But the dog I want, the perfect dog for me is the King Charles Cavalier Spaniel. I learned tonight that they are good in any environment, are easily trainable as they are eager to please, have pretty good health, and are a fantasic family dog. So that's it, I am smitten.

Well I'll be Damned

With all this insanity over the Twilight series, which I admit I have not read and have no interest in reading, I am doing the 5 favorites this week on my favorite vampire books. I really do not understand the craziness and obsession, particularly in light of basic religious beliefs, but whatever. (I want it known that I think it is great that this woman wrote these books and made a ton of money off of it and it got people reading. I have just read bits of the books and spoken to others with similar literature tastes which has lead me to the conclusion that books are not something I would enjoy).

1. Dracula - Bram Stoker
2. The Vampire Lestat - Anne Rice - Out of the series, this one was by far the best.
3. Interview with the Vampire - Anne Rice
4. Salem's Lot - Stephen King
5. Queen of the Damned - Anne Rice

Downside

The downside to having a blog is that I use it to vent and get my frustrations about situations out. It is the modern day equivalent of the clown punching bag.(Remember those? They always freaked me out. I mean clowns in general scare the bejesus out of me, but the fact that it would not stay down?? Aaahhh!)

Anyway, the bad part about wanting to use this as my release is that other people read it. Mind you, it is probably not very many, but I never know who is. So there are certain situations that I want to discuss and throw out there, but I can't. I know, I should just be able to say things to people and in most cases I can. But some relationships, some sceanrios are just too complicated. I discovered recently that someone who should know me very well and understand me, does not get me at all. I have realized for a long time that this seemed to be the case, but I believe I was in denial. Now I know, and it pains me more than I can say. So while I would like to talk about it here, I will not. I have heard of others talk about discovering this the hard way on their own blogs, so I think I will just avoid mentioning it. But, the pain and irritation of holding it all inside is not good either.

Maybe I will get one of those punching bags after all. Just not a clown. Anything but a clown.

Kiss Me With Your Mouth

This week Lisa asks "about your first kiss. Who was it with, where was it, and what other details do you recall??"

My very first kiss was with a boy who remained a friend, though not as close, until his death 10 years ago. His sister used to babysit my brother and I, along with Mike. I think I was about 8 if I remember right. We were in my dad's old army jeep playing Dukes of Hazard. It was sweet and funny. I think we both were surprised it.

My first "real kiss", open mouthed an all, was with a boy named Jason. He was a senior, I was a sophmore so I was 15. He drove a Mustang 5.0, took me to dinner in Salt Lake and to see the Nutcracker. Afterwards, I kissed him in his car in my driveway. All I remember, as my first "major" kiss was that it was weird. Then I discovered that he just was not that great at it. Not very many kisses with him followed that.

Since then I have kissed Gary, Jonas, Andy, Sam, Clayton, Jason L. (big mistake!), Larry, Ryan, Steve W., Donovan, Steve B., Terry, and Darren. The best kisser is by far the last kisser. But, I do wonder where a few of them ended up and what they are doing these days.

Where's My Pillbox Hat?

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Jackie!

You are a Jackie. "I do everything the right way."

Jackies are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals.

How to Get Along with Me

* Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work.

* Acknowledge my achievements.

* I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am.

* Tell me that you value my advice.

* Be fair and considerate, as I am.

* Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive.

* Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first.

What I Like About Being a Jackie

* Being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal

* Working hard to make the world a better place

* Having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself

* Being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do

* Being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions

* Being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people

What's Hard About Being a Jackie

* Being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met

* Feeling burdened by too much responsibility

* Thinking that what I do is never good enough

* Not being appreciated for what I do for people

* Being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am

* Obsessing about what I did or what I should do

* Being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously

Jackies as Children Often

* Criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others

* Refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect

* Focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers

* Are very responsible; may assume the role of parent

* Hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry")

Jackies as Parents

* Teach their children responsibility and strong moral values

* Are consistent and fair

* Discipline firmly

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Weekend Update!

This weekend so far has been all over the place. Friday I had the day off work, as usual as I currently work 4 days a week, but this Friday was special. D took Missy G to school for me so I got to sleep in until the baby woke up. Since he was also out of the house to do some painting for a friend I had the house pretty much to myself, which gave me the perfect excuse to nap on the couch for 2 hours cuddling the baby. God, I love that! There is nothing better than cuddling that warm little body and listening to the funny sleep noises. Then I did chores and cleaned up the house, so it would be relatively clean for when my mom came over to watch the girls. D and I had a date night planned for a few weeks as it was the opening night of Quantum of Solace.

So D and I went to Chili's for dinner (not that great but we had a gift card), then we went to the AT&T store to check out some phones and talk to the people there about options for upgrades, etc. The first guy that helped us was a total asshole and could not have cared what we did. He seemed to think we were not worth his time. Then we had an awesome girl who walked us through a lot of different options, price plans, ways to get better deals, etc. She must have spent an hour with us! We are still mulling over the options, but if we buy from that store it will be from her for sure.

Then it was off to the movie. I really liked it, I am sure there are some out there who think that the formula is not the same, where's Q, where's the charm and the puns, etc. Personally, I like Daniel Craig so much as a James Bond. He brings an intensity to the role that I always felt was lacking. In reality, he is the closest to the books. I also think that Judi Dench as "M" is incredible.

Today I sent Missy G to a science class at the local art center for 3 hours with her friend. While she was gone I went to the craft fair at my church and found a few treasures. Then I went to get new pillows for the bed since our damn cat had peed on the others and ruined them. Let me tell you, holding a 18 pound baby and 4 pillows at the same time is not easy! Soon after I got back home Missy G came home and her friend stayed too. They spent the afternoon playing outside, eating snacks, and watching 101 Dalmatians. Then I made Missy G and I dinner and we watched The Golden Compass. Let me just say this, I was very, very disappointed in the ending of that movie. So now the girls are in bed asleep and I sit her blogging with my favorite sound playing in the background. It goes a little like this "I know it was you Fredo, you broke my heart. YOU BROKE MY HEART!" (If you have no idea what movie this line is from, we seriously cannot be friends any longer. Just walk away now.)

Tomorrow I am cutting a friends hair, hanging out with the family, going to church, and making Beef Stroganoff for dinner. It should be a good day, made even better by the beautiful fall weather.

Guilt by Antisocialization

So tonight after painting all day my husband decided to go do the modern male equivalent of having a few pints with the lads by going to play Gears of War for 6 hours with his best friend - something he seems to do quite regularly. This got me to thinking, why is that men can go do this, or take off and spend hours away from home and not feel guilt? Yet, if I want to take 3 hours one day to go shopping and by much needed underwear, or use my 2 year old gift cards and finally go to the spa, that I feel incredibly, deeply guilty about it? Why is that I will instead decide not to do it, but stay home with the girls and D, because "things need to be done" or I work all week, or whatever?

This really frustrates me and I know that I am not the only one. I really wish I could just not care and be selfish, take the time to do something for me because I deserve it. I need to make some resolution to treat myself better. I need to give myself permission to take time out of life for me.

Village Idiot

This is going to be my last political post for awhile as I am just so burned out after 2 years non-stop. I eagerly await January 20th when we have the end of an error and the beginning of a new hope. That being said, I wanted to leave you with something I found emblematic of the last 8 years.

Sylistically Challenged

Do you ever have those times when you think to yourself "I wish I had style"? I am not talking about your own individual sense of style, I am talking about good style. (Which maybe your own individual style is good, who am I to say?) All I know is that I feel that my style sense sucks sometimes. I have ideas of things I want to do, but then I never have the money to do them. That or my better half finds them weird, so I don't do them. But I look at some people and the things they do, the way they dress and I wish that I could pull it off. I would seriously love to go on "What Not to Wear" and have them fix me, but then I do not think I am bad enough to qualify. (I could be wrong, I have been known to be delusional on occassion)

Here is an example of what I mean~

Our kitchen table set does not match, not in the slightest. The chairs are those wheel around reclining chairs covered in a brown fabric and I hate them! I would love to just donate the whole damn thing, pick up a table and four non matching wooden chairs with great character that need TLC, paint them funky and go with that. D gives that a weird rating however.

I have no idea how to properly put on foundation or makeup beyond the basic eye shadow and mascara out the door. Seriously. Whenever I have tried I freak out because there is too much stuff on my face and then I feel like some unstylish whore.

I have no curtains on my front windows. We have lived there for 9 years now, never had curtains. For the life of me I cannot figure out what the hell to do. I suppose I should just leave it as their are plantation blinds and it is a beautiful bay window, but I feel like it "needs" something.

I have clothes in my closet that I hang on to because one day I will fit into them again. However, when I do fit into them again they will be about 10 years old. I should just move on.

My favorite coat in my closet is a red "Dead Poets Society" style coat that I got when I was fifteen. Amazingly, it still fits and is in great condition. I also love it. But yeah, it is 21 years old! I think it has been in and out of style 3 times by now.

You May Think it's Punny

This week the 5 Favorites continues the bond theme from last week. I could do my favorite bonds in order, but everyone knows that Sean Connery was the best. So, this week is my favorite movies.

1. Thunderball
2. Casino Royale
3. Goldeneye
4. Dr. No
5. Live and Let Die

At First Sight

This week Monica asks "Tell us about the very FIRST time you saw and/or talked to your current significant other."

I was working in Regis Hair Salon in the Ogden City Mall and a client of a girl I worked with set D and I up on a blind date. I remember when he came in I was stunned by how handsome he is. He was wearing blue jeans, a button up white shirt, and a long tan duster with cool leather trim (it was February and raining). I just remember looking at those blue eyes and getting lost in them. He took me to La Ferrovia Ristorante on 25th St in his little black truck with the cow seat covers (thank God he got rid of that a few months later!) We had a very nice dinner and hit it off amazingly well. I could not believe how easy he was to talk to and how comfortable I felt in his presence. Since I was working at the salon he took me back after dinner, walked me in, we exchanged numbers and he gave me a big hug. He called me several days later and I called him back...in August!

It is a long story, but basically that night sitting across from him, I knew. I knew that he was the man I would spend my life with...and it scared the shit out of me. I had just come off a 3 year relationship from hell and was just not ready. So I dated around, moved out on my owm from my parents house, did some things I am not proud of, and finally called him back. Fortunately he took me out that night and to punish me for my behavior he married me so as to torture me for the rest of my life.

Thanks D, love you!

My Scales are Off

My friend Jason found this and sent it to me. I thought it was so funny, because it's true. Now my life makes sense to me. Thanks Jason!

Horoscope Ironies:Libras live in a world of paradox best exampled by the fact that while everyone they ever meet, talk to on the phone, or brush past on a crowded sidewalk wants to be their friend, they themselves want you to shut the fuck up so they can get home to their book/dog/hot bath where you are not.

Sinnergirl...Where You Gonna Run To?

Out of the seven sins (Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride) which one is your favorite and which one (if different) are you most guilty of? Same question with the seven virtues (Prudence, Justice, Restraint, Courage, Faith, Hope, Love).

To start with, I am guilty of all these sins, no question. However, the sin that is my favorite is lust as it honestly is the most fun. I mean, if I am going to sin, I would rather do it drooling over these people than by stuffing my face or laying around in my pajamas all day. The one that I am most guilty of is Sloth. That seems unbelievable to me as I am always doing things and running around like crazy, but deep down, way deep under all that under used muscle I am lazy. There I said it. I am lazy, lazy, lazy!! I will procrastinate my way out of anything and put off doing things that I do not want to do until it is absolutely necessary. The good part of this is that I work well under pressure and am actually capable of completing a 2,000 word essay that I only researched the night before in 3 hours and still pull an A on it. So I think that encourages it. I know I should actually get out of bed when my alarm goes off and exercise, but I would rather crawl back to bed, 6 or 7 times after hitting snooze and then get up only when I do not have any more time left to spare if I want to make it to work on time. I know I should clean the house, do the laundry, cook some fabulous meal, call family, go through photos, pay bills, etc., etc., instead of reading or watching TV, but did I mention I am lazy?

Of the seven virtues courage is my favorite. It is the one that people seem to talk about the most as if they have it, but the people who truly do never talk about it. It is something that is deep inside everyone and comes out under the most surprising circumstances. I am most blessed with the virtue of hope. Not that I feel I have a lot of that at times, but I certainly have more of that than I do of prudence or restraint. I also know that I have a good sense of justice and am deeply concerned with what is fair, but then, who am I to judge? As for faith and love, I do not feel that I ever give enough of those of myself to others. So I will not count those as my strongest virtues since I am continually working on being more loving and faithful. No way in hell I am ever going to achieve restraint however!

Shaken, Not Stirred

In eager anticipation for the next James Bond movie, this week and next weeks 5 Favorites will be Bond, James Bond, themed.

1. Urusla Andress as Honey Ryder in Dr. No - She is a beautiful, statuesqe blond with a great accent. What I really liked about her was her toughness. That scene with her coming out of the water in the coolest bikini is timeless.
2. Jane Seymour as Solitaire in Live and Let Die - To me she is one of the most graceful Bond girls. Elegant, sweet, with an air of innocence.
3. Carole Bouquet as Melina Havelock in For Your Eyes Only - She has the prettiest eyes and an air of mystery about her. She is D's favorite Bond girl also.
4. Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore in Goldfiner - Sexy, sassy, smart - all that and a bag of chips!
5. Barbara Carrera as Fatima Blush in Never Say Never Again - Fiesty, evil, beautiful and the way she dies was something else. I always liked her more than Kim Bassinger in this movie, just because Bassinger is too weak.

Runner ups that deserve and honorable mention are Diana Rigg, Barbara Bach, Famke Janssen, Grace Jones, Michelle Yeoh, and Halle Berry.

Worst Bond girl ever - Denise Richards as Christmas Jones in The World is Not Enough. She completely ruined that film for me!

If I were a bond girl I would be an Irish double agent named Sassya O'Plenty.

Hope Realized

I wanted to write this post 2 days ago after watching the election returns and learning that my candidate, MY president had won. But it seemed that it took me so long to move on beyond the enormity of what had happened. This was such a long process, 22 months of campaigning, debates, emotional highs and lows. The whole election day I had a knot in my stomach. Not just from excitement about the possibility, but from apprehension that the polls were wrong. That somehow America would make the wrong choice. But then, driving home from a meeting in Syracuse I heard John McCain on NPR giving a very gracious, heartfelt, and moving concession speech. My spirits soared! Hallelujah I screamed and clapped my hands, as tears of joy streamed down my face. We did it, America did it! We proved that we could evolve, that we could move beyond the color of a person’s skin and instead choose to be inspired by the man inside.

I will never forget watching the speech he gave that evening as I sat on the couch with my baby in my arms. I looked at her and thanked God that her world she is growing up in is better than the one she was born in to. I know that the road ahead is not going to be easy for him. I expect him to make mistakes and to have missteps, but I also know that he will face those with the same grace, poise, and tenacity that he has shown throughout the last 2 years.

Here are a few of my favorite lines from that historic speech:

“So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.”

“To those -- to those who would tear the world down: We will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security: We support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.

That's the true genius of America: that America can change. Our union can be perfected. What we've already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.”

“America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves -- if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment.

This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.”

I have always been proud to be an American. I was raised by a father who served as a Green Beret in Vietnam, so I know what it means to sacrifice for country and to honor those who have made sacrifices. While he and I do not always agree politically, I am so very proud of his military service. Similarly I am proud of John McCain. I do believe that he is a hero, that he has served this country well as a Senator and I do feel that he would have made a good President. But, he was not the President that we needed at the this moment in history. It is possible that he could have won, but there was too much stacked against him with the economy, bad advice from his campaign, and a horrible decision for his running mate. I did lose respect for him through the last 2 months because of the overall tone of the campaign and the road he chose to go down in an attempt to win at all costs. This is not the John McCain that most people know.

I am glad that this process is over and am so hopeful for the future. I still have my fears, but the silver lining is clearly visible now.

Time After Time

This past week Kim asked "If you could go back to any point in your life - not to change anything but just to experience/enjoy it/whatever - again, when would it be?"

I honestly had to contemplate this for a very long time. There are so many moments that I want to experience again, particularly if I could remember them in better clarity the second time around. It would be interesting to see how my childhood memories are different from my adult memory or perspective. I talked last week in my Favorite Fives about my favorite moments in time , so I won't use any of those. That being said, the moment I want to experience again is the summer of 1979, the whole summer. I grew up without any family close by. My mom was from Idaho and my dad California, so we sort of transplanted here and still had our family - grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. living in those two places. There were a few years that either an uncle or aunt on my dads side moved in with us, but other than that we just had each other for family.

This meant that every summer we would fly down to California, my brother and I by ourselves, for 3 weeks. During that time we got to hang out in beautiful Tehachapi, California with my grandparents and also spend time in the always lovely Bakersfield with the cousins and my aunt. It was so great, waking up to the birds singing and my grandpa winding the old clock every morning at the top of the stairs. We would rush up there and get toothless kisses from him while grandma got our breakfast ready. We spent the days catching lizards, helping my grandpa polish rocks, bowling with my grandma, and just having a great time. In Bakersfield with the cousins we spent literally all day in their pool. We even ate in there a few times. When we weren't swimming we were hypnotizing the chickens they had in there backyard as part of their 4H project.

People, I am telling you, if you have not spent time in Bakersfield, you really should. It is something that can only be experienced and once you have, you never forget it.

Somewhere in that trip, every year, my grandpa took us to Disneyland. He always insisted that we do Small World and the Hall of Presidents first, but after that we could do whatever. It was such a great experience and looking back on it I realize just how fortunate we were.

For the other part of the summer we went to Idaho, a very small town up north that had about 300 people in it at the time and the one school in town was an elementary, junior high, and high school all combined in one building. It was also three towns going to this one school, my mom's graduating class had 24 people in it! So that gives you and idea of how tiny it was, compare that to Bakersfield that had over 200,000 people at that same time.

This little town was right out of a Rockwell picture. Everyone knew everyone, we could walk to town from my grandparents house. The grocers was a grocery and sundry (dry goods, like jeans, cards, toys) combined in one little store. The surrounding area was all farm land and prairie, with pine covered mountains all around. You always had to wear layers as once a cloud covered the sun, it would drop about 10 degrees...so no pool there! But, we did go fishing with my grandpa, my grandma always made cookies the day we were due to arrive and she put out a new toy on each of our beds for us to play with. My grandma kept lists in the house of what food we liked and she would tailor it to each of us. At night we got to watch TV in our jammies and eat ice cream. We usually went there in June when they had their big town picnic, which made it even more of an Americana experience.

I truly loved those times spent with my grandparents and cousins. I know that I learned to value my time with them more as it was such a rare occurrence for me to see them compared to most people I knew. So to my grandparents (and my parents for arranging it) I am very grateful for the time and love you showed us. It helped shape me in ways you cannot imagine and I treasure every moment spent in your company. To my cousins I say, "want to hypnotize some chickens? Yeehaw!"

Time Flies

I meant to do this post on Halloween, but as you can imagine, that night was a little busy with the two little ones. This October 31st marked my oldest's 7th birthday. I can hardly believe that the time has gone by as it seems like just yesterday. This year was very sad for me because she is not a little girl at all anymore, she is just a girl. Growing up, wanting to trick or treat with friends, wanting presents that are more what the older kids are doing. So it is with both pride and regret that I approached this birthday.

Regret that it went by so fast and there were many, many things that I wanted to do for her or accomplish by now, but did not. Regret that I will never have those days back again of her as a little baby wanting to snuggle on my lap and fall asleep with me on the "big bed".

But, more important I am full of pride in the young lady she has become. I have watched her when I drop her off to her school in the morning and she will always hold open the door for anyone coming behind her, even if it means that she has to stand there for a whole minute while she watches them cross the parking lot. I wonder where she learned to be so caring and compassionate and then think, I don't care where. I am just glad she did and is that person. I watch with pride as she devours any book put in front of her and am amazed everyday at what she knows, how she thinks, and where her mind takes her.

She is truly a gift and I am so blessed to have her as my daughter. I cherish every memory and moment of the past 7 years and eagerly await everyday, every new experience that I have with her. (I just hope that time slows down a little!!)