Time Marches On

And it seems to be marching across my face. OK, seriously, I need to update, just been too long. First off, the kids are amazing and doing wonderful. H turned 2 (pictures will be posted at some point) and had a fun family party. Lots of Elmo things - he is her favorite person and I hear his name (but is sounds like Melmo) at least 50 times a day..adorable! She is talking a lot, not very clearly, but I get the idea. She is still highly emotional and it is like a crazy roller coaster ride with her, however I would not want it any other way as the flip side to that is her cuddly and very funny self.

G-Baby is busy with her social calendar and a myriad of activities. Irish dance keeps her the most busy and she is doing so great with it. She is moving up a level and joining the performance group this summer now that she has decided that she is serious about it, so that will be not only good for her, but an amazing opportunity to grow and improve. With school she is her typical brainiac self - they took the end of levels last week and she had the highest score, which she was pretty proud of. Only missed 1 on English and 2 on Math! I am proud of her too, but we are walking the fine line and learning the lessons of being humble and thankful also. Personally, I am just happy she loves school, but she was really blessed this year with great teachers and the chance to spread her wings a little more. She did this incredible mobile for her art fair at school, which is happening next week. I am secretly hoping she lets me have it when the fair is over so I can put it in my bedroom. It is very reminiscent of Calder only it includes animals (I know, shocking right?!)

As for me, I changed my major so I am now earning my Masters degree in Management with an emphasis in HR. I am very excited about it and feel like I made the right decision. The Adult Ed/Training one was cool, but I felt it was limiting and just not exactly what I wanted. I know the next 2 years will be hard work to finish it, but so worth it in the end. To get on my high horse for a minute, honestly I do not understand why people do not pursue their education if they have the means to do it. I am not talking about people who have no money, don't want to take out a loan, or don't need the education because they are close to retiring. I am talking about those people who have tuition reimbursement and don't use it or those who started and then stopped to have kids, because they got a great job, whatever. I talk to so many people everyday who give nothing but excuses as to why they can't (I was one of those for years so know what I am talking about) and rarely hear or talk to those who can or will. But let me tell you, those who do and are going to school now and are feeling so great about it, despite the struggle and hardship, they are who I call when I have a bad day. Because I made a difference to that one person and they to me. It is like the starfish story, I made a difference to that one! This is my way of saving that I love, Love, LOVE my job and am so honored to be a part of the University. I am so thankful and blessed that my life lead me here.

A week ago, D and I celebrated 12 glorious years of wedded bliss...hooray! We had an early anniversary present, Michael Buble in March (beyond words how amazing a performer he is). But last Saturday we just went out and had a nice dinner, movie, coffee and backgammon evening. I again lost both games of backgammon, some day that man is going down..I don't care what it takes or how I have to cheat to do it!

Lastly, my dad had his bladder removed and they built a new one out of bowel. He is out of the hospital and recovering now for the next 3 weeks. The surgery took over 10 hours and the tumor was larger than they thought, but had not spread. He is feeling good, said he felt like several buses hit him at once, but is in better spirits and a better place than he was before it. I can understand why it is hard, hearing that you have a terminal illness and facing your own mortality is not easy by an stretch of the imagination. I am just so grateful that Char is there to take care of him and support him. I know he is too.

End transmission.

Rick Evans - Rest In Peace

This past Tuesday, very early in the morning, in a hospital in Salt Lake my husband lost his oldest and closest friend as a result of an aortic dissection. Four years ago, on my husbands birthday no less, we discovered that Rick had this problem when he called my husband because he was in a lot of pain and could not get himself to the hospital. On the way there, Rick almost passed out in the back of our car. Upon arriving at the hospital we find out that Rick has most likely an aortic disscetion and that he will need to be life flighted down to Salt Lake. They managed to stabilize him then and kept him the hospital for a few weeks. However, the prognosis was not good, it is too risky to operate and only two hospitals in the US perform the surgery. Even then, the chances of serious complications arising, make it too risky. So, Rick was told to control his blood pressure with pills and not engage in strenuous activities. But, we all knew that it was not a matter of if anymore, but when. Unfortunately, we all found out that when on Tuesday morning. I am just grateful we had those additional four years as most people with this do not survive the initail dissection.

What my husband has described to me as Rick's last few hours are images that will not leave my thoughts, and I was not even there. I cannot imagine what my husband is feeling watching his friend die in front of him in severe pain and the knowledge that death is upon him. After the death of our son, then his mom the same year (which coincidentally was the same year of Rick's dissection)it has taken several years for my husband to get his sense of humor back and return to some version of his former self. I cannot fathom what this will do to him. It is not the same as losing a child and parent, but when you have been friends, more like brothers, for 30years it is going to leave a hell of a mark.

Rick and my husband met when they were in grade school and have been best friends ever since. They shared a love for both James Bond and Star Trek and could quote from both at random intervals. In fact, it became a contest to see who could name the movie or episode the fastest. They spent countless hours playing video games at Rick's apartment. Since he was a bachelor it was the perfect place to go veg and vent. Alone they each have a sense of humor that is beyond funny, but together it was milk coming out your nose and peeing your pants kind of funny. I am so grateful that they had each other, that they got to experience the kind of friendship that few do.

We shall miss you Rick.

Getting Jiggy With It

I have all these pictures I should update, but I am just too lazy to spend the time doing it. So, instead I will put up the video from G-baby's recent dance recital. She has been doing Irish Dance for about a year now and has improved so much from where she was.

Revelation

My dad has cancer. Yes, that feels as horrible to write as I knew it would and every time I say it I keep hoping that it will make it easier, but it does not.

He went in a few weeks ago to have his kidney stones removed and they discovered a tumor in his bladder the size of a quarter. They removed it along with the stones, biopsied it and discovered that it is malignant. It is bladder cancer, pretty aggressive, but fortunately it has not spread anywhere else yet. It was also so calcified from his body fighting it, which is a great sign that he is in such good overall physical health.

His doctor wanted to have his bladder removed, prostate removed, some other internal organs removed and then do massive bouts of radiation and chemotherapy. My dad said no. He is instead deciding to do an alternative treatment that has a 90% cure rate for his type of cancer and that also was used by an aunt in my family in her fight several years ago against breast cancer. She has been cancer free for over 7 years and stayed very healthy and active as well.

I am supporting him in this completely. I think that a person has to do what is right for them and he would not do well with such a massive lifestyle change. So, that means I am cautiously optimistic. I hope that this turns out well, I hope that he fights it like he has never fought anything. I hope he is around to see my daughters graduate from college, because the idea of him not being around for them breaks my heart more than I can adequately express.

I know, there are several of you who read this who lost parents to cancer or have parents who are battling it still. I never could understand before, and to be honest I still can't because everyone has a different perspective. Just know this, I love you all the more for being so brave and strong and making it through everyday.

So, I am working very hard on forgiveness. I am also working very hard on moving forward and not looking back. I am embracing each day with the knowledge that it is one more day with people I love and it is up to me to decide how to spend it. Most importantly, I am counting the blessings and giving thanks for every one.

Stone

It's been a month since I had anything to say. Anything worth while that is. Oh sure, things happen in my world, they happen all the time regardless of what I say or do. Just none of it seemed blog worthy, you know? So what do I have to say now you ask? Well, we had a crisis of minor, but somehow overwhelmingly major porportions this weekend. The unfortunate thing for now is that I can't talk about it, I am not allowed to right now, not until we know more.

So, in the meantime I sit here thinking about how my life changes with the slightest tilt of the earth. I am left to evaluate my life, my friends, my family and what it all means for me. More importantly I am full of regret. There is a lot of time that was spent in bitterness and anger, time that I now realize I lost. How stupid of me. I wonder if the lessons that I have had in my life were always leading me to realize this. Then I think, maybe this is not the end of the lessons, there is always one more lurking out there ready to pull the rug out from under you just as stand upright again.

Halloween

I am in to themed Halloweens now that I have two kids, so this year G baby was Cruella DeVil and the little hurricane was a Dalmatian. I must say, my oldest played the part to perfection. There was no "trick or treat", just "give me your puppies"....hahaha!

She also turned 8 on Halloween which is a big deal I suppose, hard for me to believe. She is turning into such the amazing person. Well, she always has been, but there are times I just want to talk to her for hours. There is always so much going on inside her head, so insightful, generous, sassy, and stubborn in one beautiful package. We did her usual friend party and then family party, both were pretty fun, but small this year. I am hoping that next year we can do a sleep over party - but then what am I saying?!? Sorry, momentary lapse in sanity.

Anyway it was a fun Halloween - now the pumpkins are moldy and in the trash, we all gained a few pounds from the damn candy, and once again I forgot to put away one Halloween decoration!

Peas in a Pod

This is my oldest and her BFF (can't you tell by the shirts?). The two of them are in Irish dance together, and honestly whatever one of them does, the other has to too. They are so similar in so many ways, that it can be great to be around them or a real pain in the ass. They are like chocolate and peanut butter, equally great on their own, but awesome together. Regardless, they make me laugh and I really hope I am posting another picture like this when they are in college!

Vacation - Had to Get Away

Last Saturday, July 18th, we took off on a road trip to Sunriver, Oregon. In this "we" was my hubby, me, the girls, my mum, and the Grandwa's Ann and Jerry. We had to take two cars, both of which had way to much stuff in them, well our car had way too much stuff for sure. We left around noon and drove to Boise, Idaho. We spent the night in Boise, hung around the hotel pool to relax from the drive and had dinner at Joe's Crab Shack. (Memorable moment is the waitresses dancing to Saturday Night Fever!) Sunday morning we left after breakfast and arrived in Sunriver about 5:30.




Sunriver Resort and the Deschuetes River

Our rental house

We had a great rental house that allowed all of us our own bedrooms and bathroom, nice common living, an awesome deck, and a hot tub. The cool thing about Sunriver is that bike/walking paths run throughout the property, over 30 miles of trail and we had the path right out the back of our place. The house had 3 bikes for our use, and they saw a lot of action and different bums during our stay!

Things you see on the bike rides

We had my Aunt and Cousins come down from Portland for a night, which was great as I have not seen the cousins in 11 years. D did some fishing with the girls, Missy G taught herself how to ride her bike and became a bike riding fiend, we drove to Crater Lake and the town of Sisters, we hung out in the village and pool, and mostly we RELAXED. You know it is a great vacation when you do not want to leave. We are already planning the same trip for next year with an eye on doing all the things that we did not have time for.


Hot tub buddies

This one loved the deck

Poolside

Crater Lake

On the way home yesterday we also stopped in Boise, mainly to make the trip easier for the kids and everyone, but also to let D go out with his cousin. Unfortunately, D learned the painful lesson of non-Utah beer and what happens when you mix it with shots. All in all, it was a great time, I already miss having everyone around, and I know everyone enjoyed the whole trip. (And my oldest's worry proved unfounded as her cat missed her like crazy and will not leave her alone now!)

D and Missy G fishing, right off the bike path.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

This is what goes on in my house most nights.

Pictures

First birthday and Easter

I see this Aries face a lot!

On the completed swing set

Where's the food Mom?

I have you now Darth Vader!

Mother's Day

Hogle Zoo

With her baby. She is my babydoll girl, quite a change!

Where You Been?

I am sure you are all wondering where the hell I have been for the past few weeks. Sometimes I have wondered that myself. With that in mind, here is an update.

- I have been unemployed since 3/20/09. It was a decision we made based on the really shitty working environment (Boss swearing and yelling at employees, belittling, demoralizing, asking me to things that are illegal. Good times.) We are doing fine, fortunately for this fool hardy Libra I married someone who is excellent with money, so that really helped.

- I have LOVED the time off. I feel blessed and so fortunate to have the opportunity to spend the time with my youngest, and now the oldest is out of school tomorrow which only adds to the blessings. I have watched my youngest go from crawling to walking to running. She is now babbling constantly in her adorable language and I cannot describe the joy I feel in being a part of it. (There are days tho when the whining and having her attached to me all the time is quite annoying...no doubt about that). With my oldest she has been learning Irish dance and is doing very well and she had a narrator part in the Christian Education Sunday at our church so had to memorize and speak in front of the congregation. Before I left work, I would never get to see her dance at practice each week and watch her grow, or have enough time to help her memorize parts. The blessings abound!

- I have walked everyday, well almost everyday. I am up to between 4 -7.5 miles depending on the time I have available. I mostly take the baby with me, as she loves to be outside. I set a goal to exercise everyday, which I have achieved and as a result I have lost 14 pounds and feel great.

- Next week I am starting belly dance lessons.

- We went to the zoo. That was a great experience as we took my oldest out of school on a Wednesday - which was a surprise for her. We got to see the new Madagascar exhibit, kind of lame, but mostly enjoyed it as the weather was perfect, the animals were more active than I have seen in a long time, and it was not crowded at all. We decided to do it because she had done so well in school, with dance, and helping out with her sister. For her grades she had all "O's" for Outstanding, won an award for reading the most books in her entire charter school - both the elementary and middle (there is no high school yet), won an award for the best Dible score 233 with the average being 90, and took 2nd place in the school spelling bee. I am always amazed and in awe of her, she inspires me on so many levels.

- I have finished 12 books while I have been off. Most of them fiction, but I did manage to read "Art of War" again, which I love.

- I have applied for 27 jobs, been called to 9 interviews, no offers yet. I am not worrying about it yet as I know of many others who are not even having interviews.

- I had lunch with two great friends, had a day out with one of my oldest friends, and have talked on the phone with another overseas.

- I have reorganized all the closets and cupboards, I pulled all the weeds (today), helped my oldest clean her room donating 2 boxes to charity - now we need to rearrange it, and finally updated my iPod. The photo organizing is still on my to do list and I WILL get it done before I find a job.

- I finished out the regular season of TV shows and had some real cliffhangers (Criminal Minds, CSI NY, and Castle), some disappointments (Amazing Race and Dancing With The Stars - I would say American Idol, but I actually did not watch the whole season and think Adam is better off having not won). Now I am into my summer shows - Psych and Monk starting soon, the Bachelorette, Deadliest Warrior, and for my oldest "Wipeout". Yes, I watch too much TV...but would you believe me if I told you it is on merely for background noise most of the time?

So that is what I have been up to. Later this month I will be helping out with Vacation Bible School, attending the Irish Dance competition, ferrying kids to playdates and swim lessons, and holding down the fort while D goes to the WSOP tournament in Vegas. In July we are going on Vacation to Sun River, Oregon..I am really looking forward to that.

Hopefully I will have pictures up soon.

Oh, and that swing set my husband started last summer? It is finally finished as of today and it is awesome! He may be slow, but he is damn good and thorough.

Good and Bad

Tonight I had one of those nights. It started of crazy and ended up touching me so deeply I can hardly express it. I took my oldest and her friend to their Irish dance class, and after it was over, we picked up my baby (who was uncharacteristically fussy) from my mom's and headed for home. It being late, we decided to stop at McDonalds so she could get some dinner. I ended up in line behind a woman in a Mercedes who was ordering one of everything I think...seriously waited 5 minutes behind her. (I know, big deal...but it is fast food...not fine dining!) Anyway, we get to the window, she gets her food and pulls ahead...then stops...blocking me. She proceeds to get out as I am reaching for the disgusting kids meal and shouts at the girl in the window that she did not get her drink. I then say to her "would you mind pulling forward so the rest of us can get on with our lives?" (I know, surly right....I was out of patience).

So I get home, my oldest drops said Happy Meal 3 times on the way in to the house, in the rain. Thus turning it into an unhappy meal. Took her the usual 45 minutes to eat and she did not finish the fries, but whatever, I am not going to make a deal out of it. In the meantime as she is eating, I am getting the babies bath ready. Upon undressing her I notice that her pants are wet...diaper soaked through. So I take it off, have her naked in the room sitting on her rug, I leave for literally a minute to put her towel and tub in the bathroom, come back and she peed on the carpet! Which I only discovered because I kneeled right in it! Bloody hell!

So she is bathed and fed, then both kids are put to bed. My oldest calls me in to look at her cool book we bought the other day that is all about the human body. I am talking pretty in depth her people, with cutaways of organs, brain, muscles, bones, etc., because she is just that kind of kid that digs science. Anyway, she starts telling me all about the endocrine system, and how the kidney is so cool because of all it does, then how fascinating the body is, etc., etc. Twenty minutes we lay in the dark on her bed talking about all of this. I LOVED every minute of it. I wish I could put that in my pocket and bring it out for those times she tests me or frustrates me. Because those twenty minutes, they were perfect bliss.

Easter Weekend

We had a great Easter weekend - warm weather, surrounded by family and friends, and reminded of God's love and promise for our lives. Here is a brief snapshot of what we did.

Baby's Birthday Party

On Saturday one of my oldest and dearest friends came up with her baby son and we let the kids play, talked, and had a nice day together.

Sunday we went to church, where there was an Easter Egg Hunt, then we had another one at home. Our oldest got way too much stuff, but had a lot of fun. For Easter dinner we had my mom and her husband, my father in law and sister in law, and the Grand-Wa's (some dear family friends) over. Everyone pitched in with different parts of the meal and it was all delicous. Best of all was the company and the time spent with family and friends.

Happy Birthday Baby

OK, I meant to post this on her birthday, but with my oldest out of school, Easter, Job Interviews, etc., time ran away from me.

My baby just turned 1 and I am awe struck that a whole year has passed. It seems like just yesterday that we brought her home and she was just a little peanut.

From the very beginning she has had her own mind and ideas about how things need to be done. My two girls are so very different and so similar in some ways too. Both are independent, stubborn, loving, and inherently funny. Yet, the baby is built different, eats better (hooray), is more fiesty, is stronger, and her temper is a lot closer to the surface. She is also busy, busy, BUSY. I can never leave her alone in a room even for a second as you just don't know what the hurricane will get in to. I am so blessed to have had 3 incredible children who each in their own way teach me so much about life, but mostly about myself.

Happy birthday fiesty spice!

Gigglefest and Sing a Longs

This is from Thanksgiving when Missy G had the baby laughing out loud. It was the first time that family was over to see it, so it was pretty special. I apologize for the screaming girl sounds and also to you sheep lovers.

This is from the performance at the Christmas Village here in town a few weeks ago. My favorite part about this whole video is the end where she realizes that other people are singing the wrong words and is looking around for the guilty culprit. Coming from my perfectionist daughter, I am not surprised one bit. Her dad, even though he is a perfectionist himself but not about things like that, would have deliberately changed the words just for the fun of it.

Here is a an example, The Steve Miller Band "Jet Airliner". The chorus goes "Oh, Oh big ol' jet airliner/Don't carry me too far away/Oh, Oh big ol' jet airliner/Cause it's here that I've got to stay". And D's version? Change the first line to "Oh, big ol' hairy vagina". Now, you tell me if you will ever view that song the same after that? Another prime example, Huey Lewis and the News "Happy to Be Stuck with You", D's version "happy to be fucking you". It may not be charming or fit for public consumption, but in the car between us...I am in tears from laughing so hard. He keeps my life interesting, no doubt about that.

Ignore My Behind

So, as usual, I am behind on my updates or the pictures of the girls. So here are a few from October through last week.










Freak snowstorm in early October that pushed the trampoline into the fence, busted the frame and took out our maple tree. Awesome!










Sissy and her kitten










"If I only had a brain".

Cinderella and the magic pumpkin










Forever plaid for Reformation Sunday










You have not lived until a cat has watched you bathe










Doing her Magnum P.I. impression










Totally her sister's idea













Christmas carols at the Christmas Village







The great paper chase....she literally rolled and ripped apart the paper from one side of the room to the other. No, I did not let her eat it...well, not very much anyway.

Time Flies

I meant to do this post on Halloween, but as you can imagine, that night was a little busy with the two little ones. This October 31st marked my oldest's 7th birthday. I can hardly believe that the time has gone by as it seems like just yesterday. This year was very sad for me because she is not a little girl at all anymore, she is just a girl. Growing up, wanting to trick or treat with friends, wanting presents that are more what the older kids are doing. So it is with both pride and regret that I approached this birthday.

Regret that it went by so fast and there were many, many things that I wanted to do for her or accomplish by now, but did not. Regret that I will never have those days back again of her as a little baby wanting to snuggle on my lap and fall asleep with me on the "big bed".

But, more important I am full of pride in the young lady she has become. I have watched her when I drop her off to her school in the morning and she will always hold open the door for anyone coming behind her, even if it means that she has to stand there for a whole minute while she watches them cross the parking lot. I wonder where she learned to be so caring and compassionate and then think, I don't care where. I am just glad she did and is that person. I watch with pride as she devours any book put in front of her and am amazed everyday at what she knows, how she thinks, and where her mind takes her.

She is truly a gift and I am so blessed to have her as my daughter. I cherish every memory and moment of the past 7 years and eagerly await everyday, every new experience that I have with her. (I just hope that time slows down a little!!)