My dad has cancer. Yes, that feels as horrible to write as I knew it would and every time I say it I keep hoping that it will make it easier, but it does not.
He went in a few weeks ago to have his kidney stones removed and they discovered a tumor in his bladder the size of a quarter. They removed it along with the stones, biopsied it and discovered that it is malignant. It is bladder cancer, pretty aggressive, but fortunately it has not spread anywhere else yet. It was also so calcified from his body fighting it, which is a great sign that he is in such good overall physical health.
His doctor wanted to have his bladder removed, prostate removed, some other internal organs removed and then do massive bouts of radiation and chemotherapy. My dad said no. He is instead deciding to do an alternative treatment that has a 90% cure rate for his type of cancer and that also was used by an aunt in my family in her fight several years ago against breast cancer. She has been cancer free for over 7 years and stayed very healthy and active as well.
I am supporting him in this completely. I think that a person has to do what is right for them and he would not do well with such a massive lifestyle change. So, that means I am cautiously optimistic. I hope that this turns out well, I hope that he fights it like he has never fought anything. I hope he is around to see my daughters graduate from college, because the idea of him not being around for them breaks my heart more than I can adequately express.
I know, there are several of you who read this who lost parents to cancer or have parents who are battling it still. I never could understand before, and to be honest I still can't because everyone has a different perspective. Just know this, I love you all the more for being so brave and strong and making it through everyday.
So, I am working very hard on forgiveness. I am also working very hard on moving forward and not looking back. I am embracing each day with the knowledge that it is one more day with people I love and it is up to me to decide how to spend it. Most importantly, I am counting the blessings and giving thanks for every one.
1 comment:
Amy, I am so sorry your dad and your family is going through this. Its an emotional rollercoaster for all of you. The best thing I have found is talk about it... tell your dad how you feel, what you are scared of, what means the most to you. Let him know you are always there for him, to support him and to hug on him when he needs it. I am praying for you. Please let me know if you ever need to talk.
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