Cling-On

For years I have been thinking about getting those vinyl clings that stick to the walls and have all kinds of clever sayings on them. The only problem is that all the sayings are either too "cutesy", too preachy, or too ugh. So I finally found a place that will do any quote that you want. Here are a few of my choices~

How do a FOOL and his MONEY get together to begin with?

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Let's share, You'll take the grenade, I'll take the pin.

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

A man’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

A friend is someone you can call to help you move. A best friend is someone you can call to help you move a body.

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back

Death solves all problems: no man, no problem.

If you can’t say anything nice, then at least have the decency to be vague.

Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating. One day, I shall be a sweet, succulent escargo of quiescence…until then, I practice.