Cheetas!

Shane asks us "If you caught your spouse cheating on you, would you forgive them and remain married? What if it had been going on for years? What if they continued after you caught them?"
I have caught D cheating, many, many times. I have even cheated a few times myself. But those damn Oreos, they call to me from deep in their hiding places! They whisper sweet somethings and beg, no plead, "eat me, let me fill you up. You complete me!"

Seriously, interesting questions, way to step up to the plate Shaner! I used to think that there is no way that I would forgive and stay married, but I really think that it depends on the situation. Was there something going on in our marriage that would have lead to this? Who did they cheat on me with? How old are the kids, etc? These would factor into it. To be honest, I think that I would forgive him and remain married. However, I firmly believe that with forgiveness you have to be able to then forget that it happened, or at least NEVER bring it up again. If you agree to forgive, you agree to not hold it over their head. Either way, for a first time I would forgive, but counseling would be mandatory.

A long term affair would be harder for me to move past as at that point it seems the relationship is fundamentally broken. However, people do move past this, but the same rules as above would apply. If my spouse continued to cheat on me, than the marriage would definitely be over, alimony would be paid, the house would be mine, and his clothes would be burned in a pile on the lawn as a reminder to me and a warning to others.

My fundamental rule with relationships has always been that trust is more important than monogomy (credit Savage Garden for putting it so eloquently). If you trust each other, reaffirm these feelings, and COMMUNICATE then an affair is not an issue.